Hello Darling Film Review

This is the week of bad and long-delayed films (or dabbe ki picture). Like Aashayein, Hello Darling was lying in the cans for two years for lack of buyers. On seeing the film, you wish it had had a straight-to-DVD release.Hello Darling's story if lifted from the 1980 film, 9 to 5. So you have three buxom women trying to get rid of their lecherous and manipulative boss. Candy (Celina Jaitley) is the bimbo secretary, Mansi (Gul Panag) is the frustrated and hard-working manager, and Satwati (Eesha Koppikhar) is the spirited and enterprising out-of-towner. Sucking the joy out of their existence is Harddick Vasu (actual spelling on his cabin door; Jaaved Jaaferi) who propositions anything with a pulse. He is married to Purvi (Divya Dutta as a a typical Gujurati wife). Fed up of his advances and blackmail, the three plot and plan his downfall. Since it is a commercial and supposedly happy movie, luck favours them.Hello Darling is an alarmingly cheap movie. The character's name is spelled "Harddick", he gives "dick-tation" to his se(x)retary, he "protects" her like a condom would, and loves the way she does her "job". The dialogue is inundated with double entendres in bad taste. There are homosexual jokes because that is the trend these days. When there is no sexual connotation, corny and silly dialogues are served. It is hard to believe that the actors actually agreed to say all that. Divya’s character Purvi calls herself Purviben and her husband Hardikbhai. Honestly, who does that? The supposed comedy is slapstick, exaggerated, and full of prolonged misunderstandings. You want it all to end and how! As in every other Hindi movie, all loose ends are tied quickly and all problems are solved in a jiffy, as if they never existed!The production design is tacky and most of the shooting has been done at Whistling Woods. Though the film is set in a fashion house, the clothes are not remarkable. In a few scenes, the characters are dressed like street-walkers. The actresses are buxom and their cleavage and thighs are focussed open with abandon. Barring Aa jaane jaa, the music is noisy and the characters break into wannabe hip-hop tracks at regular intervals.Jaaved Jaaferi is very talented and has not got his due in Bollywood. He must be very sporting to subject himself to this kind of humiliation. Since his character evokes hatred in women, he has done his job well. He should stick to Yash Raj films or do films that are worthy of his talent. Gul Panag looks pretty and fairly stylish but she is utterly wasted in the movie. Eesha Koppikhar is ebullient and mouths a few funny lines. As the stereotyped Catholic girl, Celina Jaitley strains to get her expressions right and is quite plastic. Divya Dutta does the Gujarati act pretty well. Chunky Pandey’s impersonation of Elvis Presley is exasperating. Sunny Deol’s dubbing is very poor.